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#cptsd

25 posts21 participants0 posts today

Man, I look at things like #BlackFriday and I just don't get it. Besides the pollution and consumerism, I don't understand how people become grown adults who feel socially obligated to participate in such a miserable ritual.

To me, the whole point of growing up was to sleep in on the day after #Thanksgiving, to be able to say fuckit without consequence if I don't buy anyone shit today.

I'm sure my #cptsd plays into this somehow. I'm probably more alienated than most.

PTSD: Season of Darkness

Feeling alone even though you're not. That's just one of the delightful things that one may experience after trauma. When our inner being finally knows it's safe, the flood of emotion is like a tide washing over, consuming every ounce of strength, just to keep your head above the water line.

Another benefit of PTSD is not being able to put things into words easily, or at all. A dryness that makes you feel like you drank a glass of sand. I wanted to write about the entitled subject matter, but I guess I'll leave it to the Hip and try another time. Consider this part one. Today, I'm just a boy lost in Fiddler's Green.

"Fiddler's Green" by The Tragically Hip: youtube.com/watch?v=eWXUYCKHHp

Continued thread

But last night, a horrid dream ended in an unusual & interesting way: I tore into my adoptive mother w/ both barrels, letting her know every gd way in which she failed me. Face to face—w/ me standing upright, & her seated in front of me, frail & defenseless. A firehose of fury & truth.

My emotional state is pretty good today. Much improved, even—or it feels like, at any rate. I feel strong, but … light.

Interesting. /end

#introduction

HQ to all stations, HQ to all stations, federate this instance by boosting my intro!

i'm alex, a guy who moved from :poland: to :netherlands: and is now comfy here, sort of :neocat_comfy:

i mostly do digital art, sometimes graphic design. i also like rewriting my website all the time and experimenting with html and css.

i am very gay, very trans, very autistic and very disabled. i'm a hearing aid user, a glasses user and have mental conditions that affect my life drastically.

but that doesn't stop me from existing, even if said existence is hard

anyways! i really love computers of the 90s and 2000s, grew up with nintendo consoles and have plenty of favorite games, such as Jet Set Radio, Psychonauts, Pokemon X, Smash Bros. series and LittleBigPlanet 2

i also listen to music a fuck ton, my taste always changing; at the time of writing i'm mostly listening to Hideki Naganuma, Kikuo, Krafty Kuts, Reol and Mitchie M!

i post my art on my website, brainworms.nl and on my art account, @wormwork@brainworms.nl

read my bio before following, thanks!

tag spam for reach with interests and stuff: #art #digitalArt #2000s #videoGames #gaming #nintendo #computers #retrocomputing #queer #gay #transmasc #transgender #netherlands #pokemon #smashBros #psychonauts #JetSetRadio #vocaloid #ActuallyAutistic #hardOfHearing #hearingAidUser #ActuallyBPD #CPTSD #OSOR #objectum #objectlove #inanimatelove
brainworms.nlThe Worm of Mind...Have you ever wondered how does it feel to live with brainworms that consume your life bite by bite?